i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
