You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
