Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
