Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
