drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
