she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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