Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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