either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
