ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
