Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
