i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
