Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
