He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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