Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
