lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize