I'm eating all of the evidence.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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