great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
