i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
