I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
