He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
