Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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