..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
