My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
