Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
