i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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