There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I skipped work to stalk him.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
