i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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