i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
