so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
