Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
