Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
