theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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