I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
