is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
