I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize