If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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