Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize