Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I enjoy the company of your penis
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
