If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
