Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Me too!

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(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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(980): View more from North Carolina

How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.

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(213): View more from California

your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

She still started it.

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(516): View more from New York

Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out

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(607): View more from New York

You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs

(1-607): View more from New York

tuesdays get the best of me...

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