Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
