I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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