Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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