Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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