its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
