i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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