she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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