it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
