He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
