I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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