Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize