just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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