I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize