I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize