What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
