Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
