Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
