I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize