Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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